The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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