I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
