the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
