Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
