I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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