I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize