Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
