Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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