No stitches, just platelets and will power
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
