The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize