This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
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Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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