Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
