My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
