I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
