You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
