thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i dont even know how to be here
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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