why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your penis caused this!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
