What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
