We're facebook friends in real life
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
