bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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