it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
