lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize