wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
