There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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