My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i permit you to call me
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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