I'm lost and stupid without you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
