The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize