New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wear drunk well.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
