I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
