I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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