Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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