he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
