areolas are like halos for boobs.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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