Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
