my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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