No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
