no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
