Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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