So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
