When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
