Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
