i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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