My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
