how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
