Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
