I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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