Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
