nut hugger
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
