He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
