Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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