If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize