that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
