whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
