Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
