I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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