Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
