P.S. I can't hear my feet
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
