nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
