No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
