i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
