We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize