I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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