Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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