We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Vodka?
Forever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
