She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
