yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
