its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
