we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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