Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
