no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im at strip club and am horny
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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