What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize