Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
